The Hotness of Jimmy Frisbee
by oomileena-chanoo
Summary: Naruto and Kiba start talking about a hot guy that they met at District Band, and Sasuke is NOT happy. SASUNARU! Rated because I'm playing it very very safe. Reviews are extremely appreciated and flames will die a very painful death. Crack fic!
1. Jimmy Frisbee's Hotness

**Milly: So I've been thinking… I wanna write another fic. Maybe THIS one will get me more reviews… So, I'm writing a Sasunaru crack fic! YAYZ! **

**Gaa-chan: Why?**

**Milly: Because…I said so?**

**Gaa-chan: You know what? I just don't care anymore.**

**Milly: Good! Caring is for people who don't have sugar! Now, ONTO THE NEW STORY! ^^ HUZZAH!**

**XxSaSuNaRuFoEvAxX**

**The Hotness of Jimmy Frisbee**

We open this scene in a particularly large classroom. But not just any classroom. Oh no, in this particular classroom the teacher was late. Again. Who was this teacher? I'll give you three guesses, and two don't count.

"KAKASHI SENSEI IS LATE, _AGAIN_!"

"Yeah yeah, Naruto we know already," said Kiba, already bored out of his mind.

Naruto and Kiba were particularly close best friends. But not just any best friends. Oh no, these particular best friends were both in the same band class. A band class where students were chosen to participate in something called 'District Band'. A _magical _place where students from all different schools come together to play as one amazingly good band of very talented children. How touching. Anyway, Naruto was _such _a good tuba player that he got first chair out of allll of the tubas. Obviously. And Kiba was _such _a good saxophone player that _he _got first chair out of allll of the saxophones. How nice. So they both went to District Band and played their little hearts out, meeting some new people along the way.

"Hey Naruto, do you remember that oboe player we met in District Band? His name was Jimmy right?" said Kiba.

"Yeah, what about him?" Naruto asked.

"That guy, was _hot," _Kiba replied.

"Totally."

Yes, Naruto and Kiba both knew that they were gay. It wasn't a big secret. Everyone in the school knew by now. **(A/N: And who doesn't love an adorable uke Naruto ne?)**

"Who's hot?" sounded a melodic voice.

The voice belonged to none other than Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto felt his heart rate speed up. Now you may have heard the rumors, but Naruto does _not _have a crush on Sasuke. He's just totally in love with him. On that note, Naruto started blushing and openly staring at him. He was allowed to stare! It _was _the one he loved after all.

"I'm going to ask you again, _who _the _hell _is so fucking _hot?"_ Sasuke said icily.

Sasuke did NOT like _his dobe _calling someone else hot! Well unless _his dobe _was calling HIM hot. But that was different. Yes, Sasuke liked Naruto. Isn't it a little bit obvious? Possessive bastard he is.

"Uh-um Jimmy…is hot…" Naruto stammered out.

The redness of his face rivaled that of a tomato.

Now, Sasuke was pretty damn sure that there was no one with the name 'Jimmy' at their school. They lived in Japan. What kind of a name was Jimmy?

So he responded with, "Who the hell is Jimmy?"

Naruto looked down and blushed even more. That is to say, if it was possible.

"Uh-ummm…"

Now Kiba, being the fabulous selfless person he is, decided to help him out.

"Jimmy is this totally hot guy from District Band. He's originally from America but his dad got a better job offer and they came here to Japan,"

Sasuke's eye twitched violently. Naruto thought this guy was hot? He'd take care of that… all he had to do was find out his full name and then he could sick the local gang on him. Good plan. **(A/N: Of course Sasuke has gang connections! His brother is the one to thank for that thank you!)**

"So what is this guy's last name then?" he asked, trying to look innocently curious, but failing. Miserably.

Of course, Kiba was totally oblivious to the fact that Sasuke looked like he wanted to murder him with a spork.

"I think it was… Frisbee? Or something like that anyway. His hotness wasn't only blinding, it was deafening too," Kiba stated, losing himself in the hotness of Jimmy Frisbee.

Sasuke's rage boiled higher. Why wasn't _he _as hot as Jimmy Frisbee? Why didn't Naruto like _him? _It was then that Naruto spoke up.

"Um… Kiba? I think he might be mad at you…" Naruto trailed off slowly, quite scared of the creepy aura that Sasuke was emitting.

"Oh him?" Kiba scoffed, "Psh. He's just upset that Jimmy Frisbee has hotter hair than he does,"

Sasuke had had _enough _of it. He yelled,

"Fine! You can all just bask in the glory of your _perfect Jimmy Frisbee!_ What kind of a damn name is that anyway! Fuck it, I'm out of here!"

Then he stormed away in an angry huff.

Naruto was horror stricken. Did Sasuke _really_ think that he thought Jimmy was hotter than he was? He tore out of there as fast as he could, determined to find his teme.

"Sasuke! Wait up dammit!" Naruto yelled down the hall.

Sasuke just walked faster. He felt totally humiliated.

"Sasuke! Stop being such a little _bitch _and listen to me already!"

Sasuke finally stopped and turned around. When the blonde caught up with him he looked up at Sasuke and glared.

"What the hell is your problem?" he shouted, "You just go off into a hissy fit and run right out of the room! I was fucking worried about you!"

Sasuke looked genuinely surprised.

"You were… worried about me?" he asked.

Naruto's entire face immediately turned beet red.

"I…ummm…"

It was in that moment that everything finally clicked. 'He _likes _me.' Sasuke thought to himself. He then smirked. Cocky asshole he is.

"Hey dobe, are you free this Saturday?"

"Y-yes. Why?" Naruto questioned, blushing like a little school girl.

"Because I'm taking you out to dinner," Sasuke replied matter of factly.

"W-what?!" he said much louder than was necessary.

"I'm picking you up at 8:00 p.m. so remember to dress _nicely,_" Sasuke stated, the smirk still etched onto his face.

He was about to walk away leaving Naruto gaping after him but before he could, Naruto said,

"Hey um… Sasuke? I just want you to know… that I think you are _way _hotter than Jimmy Frisbee."

Sasuke turned to smile at him and Naruto smiled right back. They were both happy that they were finally able to confess their love for one another. Er…sort of. Then they each walked away in opposite directions. Sasuke was going to hide in the bathroom until the end of third block. He couldn't go back to class! That would make him look less cool, and Sasuke _never _looked less cool. Awesome seme of hotness he is. Naruto went back to the classroom, still daydreaming about what Saturday night would hold.

And of course, Kiba was obviously still marvelling over the hotness of Jimmy Frisbee.

How nice.

**XxSaSuNaRuFoEvAxX**

**Milly: So how was it? Please don't be mad at me if they were OOC! Like I said, it IS a crack fic. I just really wanted to write something. Which is strange, considering I hate to write things. :P**

**Gaa-chan: You forgot it Mileena. **

**Milly: Then say it now dammit!**

**Gaa-chan: Bitch… Disclaimer: XxMileena-chanxX does not own Naruto, clichés, or Jimmy Frisbee. **

**Milly: I should probably tell you, Jimmy Frisbee is a running joke that the band kids have at our school. They really DID meet Jimmy at District Band and it inspired me to write this. **

**Gaa-chan: Why do they call him Jimmy **_**Frisbee?**_

**Milly: I dunno. They didn't know his last name. One of the girls thought he was hot and made fun of one of the guys for not being **_**as **_**hot. I thought it was funny. Thus this fic was born.**

**Gaa-chan: God. You people really are crazy. Anyway, review or she will kill you with the Spork of Doom. And apparently, she uses it to stab flames to death as well. **

**Milly: Damn right I do! XD**


	2. Bestest Date Like EVER Part 1

**Milly: BLEH! XP I'm back with a new chapter peoples!**

**Gaa-chan: …I thought this story was FINISHED?**

**Milly: Well I had some people encouraging some more chappies so… Not finished! ^^ ONLY LIKE, ONE MORE CHAPPY PEOPLE! DX Do you know how hard it is dealing with the stress? DO YOU?!**

**Gaa-chan: Just calm down and give them their chapter already. =.=**

**Milly: Fine. *pouts* It may not be as crackish or funny as the first one but don't be mean okay! I'm trying. **

**The Bestest Date Like EV-ER Part 1**

Once upon a time there was a boy. But not just any boy, _this _boy was blonde with bright cerulean eyes. But not just any blonde haired cerulean eyed boy, _this _blonde haired cerulean eyed boy had a date tonight. But not just any blond haired cerulean eyed boy with a date tonight, _this _blonde haired cerulean eyed boy with a date tonight had a date with none other than Sasuke Uchiha. Tonight. And he had NO IDEA what he was going to wear. Fuck. The blonde thought and thought (And even actually THOUGHT for once) about what to wear but everything just looked terrible to him!

'What the fuck is wrong with all of my clothes?!' Naruto thought, desperately trying to find something that looked good.

After what felt like hours of deliberating Naruto finally came to a conclusion. Call Kiba.

Kiba had the BEST fashion sense! Like he… Always wore a jacket with a stylish furry hood! And he had tattoos on his face! Yeah that would do… He would totally call Kiba.

So he picked up the phone and dialed the number. _Ring ring, _went the phone. _Tick Tock,_ went the clock. _Scurry scurry,_ went the mouse. Wait a minute, MOUSE?! Eh, he'd deal with that later. _Drip drip, _went the faucet. _Vroom vroom, _went the motorcycle- MOTORCYCLE?! Naruto sprang up to look out the window and lo and behold-- there was Kiba.

Kiba walked in without a second thought leaving Naruto to question, "What the fuck?!" as he passed. He then strode casually into Naruto's bedroom.

"I'm not gonna ask you again Kiba, what the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Eh. I knew you would need me. Your fashion sense is simply _atrocious."_

Naruto opened his mouth to defend himself but then realized the truth of Kiba's words. He nodded instead.

Kiba instantly started going through his closet. "Hot mess, hot mess, fabulous, fabulous, hot mess, hot mess, fabulous… Damn Naruto. Half of your closet is hideous."

"Shut up! At least I don't have wet dreams about strangers!"

"Le gasp! Jimmy is no stranger! He is my one true love and-and… You're just trying to hurt me again aren't you!?"

"Scoff, you've only met him once! How could you be in love with him!? Hmph. You only like him for his looks."

"I knew it! You're just trying to hurt me again!" Kiba then started sobbing into his hands.

"I'm so sorry Kiba! I never meant to hurt you I promise!" Naruto started sobbing as well.

They embraced each other in a tight hug, still sobbing all the while. When they had both calmed down, they wiped the tears off their faces with their sleeves and looked at each other meaningfully.

"So you should totally wear that one black tank top with the orange spiral and that orange vest that goes over it and the cargo pants and the orange fingerless gloves and the combat boots with those goggles on your head and a band-aid on your face to make you look _cool_!" Kiba said cheerfully.

"Omigee that's like, my favorite outfit! Thanks Kiba! We could do without the band-aid though."

"Aww… But it would make you look coooool…" Kiba whined.

"Sigh… Fine. But it can't have any puppies on it!"

"I wasn't planning on that anyway… Cough. Now come on, we have to get you dressed! Sasuke's going to be here in an hour!"

"I only have an hour!? Shit!" And with that he was dragged into the bathroom by Kiba.

**Xx If this is a line break then my name is Sue Howdydoo. It isn't but this is still a line break. xX**

There was a knock from the door. Naruto checked the mirror to make sure he was still uber sexy, and ran his hands through his hair to mess it up a bit. Yeah. Sexy.

He had just made sure that Kiba left (AhemPushedHimOutTheWindowCough), so now he was free to go on his date! But before he could answer the door…

"Naruto!"

"What Iruka!? Can't you see I'm about to go on an epicly kick-ass date?!"

"I don't want you to curse anyone tonight! I'm tired of parents calling me saying, 'It's YOUR son's fault that my daughter passed out from an extreme spontaneous nosebleed last night!'. It's annoying."

"I only gave her a nosebleed once!" He argued, "And the book of witchcraft says-"

"NO CURSES NARUTO."

"But-"

"NONE."

"Curses…"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

Naruto spluttered. "I didn't even mean it like that!"

There was an insistent knock from the door. He had left him waiting a bit too long…

"Dammit Iruka I have to go NOW!"

"Okay. Have fun on your date!" he said, completely forgetting about the whole 'curses' incident.

"Yeah whatever bye!" Naruto yelled back.

And with that he rushed right out of the door, and straight into the arms of one Sasuke Uchiha.

Good thing his hair was still messed up.

Yeah. Sexy.

**Xx Cows make milk and milk says moo. Moooooooo. xX**

**Milly: Damn… I didn't think it would be this short. =.= Now I feel really bad.**

**Gaa-chan: You should. You're continuing this and making them read your crap again.**

**Milly: I knooooooow. DX But there's only gonna be one more chappy anyway. **

**Gaa-chan: Let me guess, 'The Bestest Date Like EV-ER Part 2'? Why didn't you just combine that with the first one?**

**Milly: Because I haven't thought of it yet! So shut up! XO Review and tell me how terrible this is! :D But in a nice way. Flames will be stabbed to death by the Spork of DOOM! O.o Yah. Be frightened. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Milly: Come on down, because YOU'RE the next contestant on Don't Beat Mileena With a Stick For Making You Wait! ^^**

**Kyo-kitty: It's not like they even care that much about your story.**

**Milly: Shut up! X( Nobody asked you!**

**Kyo-kitty: Whatever. =.=**

**Milly: So here's your little chappy peoples, and don't say I didn't warn you about the events being random and not funny whatsoever! :D**

**The Bestest Date Like EV-ER Part 2**

So there he was, draped in the muscular arms of the one he loved. The moonlight beamed down upon them and illuminated their flushed faces, making their eyes sparkle. Naruto was so caught up in this breathtaking moment that he never wanted to pull away from the Uchiha… Until-

"Heh, didn't know you were so eager to see me," Sasuke said with a smirk.

That annoying little smirk that is so sexy and so frustrating that you just want to bludgeon his head in with a baseball bat until nothing is left of that THING that shamelessly mocks a smile! Sadly, Naruto was too busy trying to interpret what was just said to do that at the moment.

He yanked himself out of the asshole's arms and yelled "PERVERT!"

The scream echoed throughout the street… It seemed to be bouncing off of every surface possible. About six cat-calls, five whistles, three people stating 'Oh my!', and the sound of a homeless guy clapping later, Sasuke finally cleared his throat.

"I didn't mean it… like… that…" he said, looking thoroughly embarrassed if I do say so myself.

Naruto blushed about three shades of red.

"Uh um, we should get going then huh teme?"

"Hmph. For once you're right dobe," Sasuke replied. He then started to lead the way to their destination.

"So where are we going anyway?"

"Well we can't very well go to The Fancy French Club of Fanciness and Frenchiness NOW," he replied.

"Well why the fuck not? Naruto questioned indignantly.

"Look at how you're dressed dobe." Again there was that damn smirk.

"I happen to like the way I'm dressed dammit!"

"Oh don't get me wrong, you look hot. But you're definitely not dressed for such a classy place as that," he said, "I guess I'll just have to take you to the _ramen shop._"

Naruto cheered loudly.

"Alright Sasuke! You're the best!"

Internally Sasuke was congratulating himself. One look at his clothes could tell you that he hadn't been planning to take him to The Fancy French Club of Fanciness and Frenchiness anyway. But of course Naruto wouldn't notice that! Hehe, he was so smooth.

**Xx BLEH! I'm a vampia. O.o Just kidding. If I was a vampire I would be cool. =.= xX**

Currently they both sat at a table at Ichiraku's Ramen Shop. Naruto had wanted stools up at the bar, but NOOO. The damn bastard had to have a table. Said it was more like a "date" or something. Bastard. They had been eating, talking, and getting to know more about each other throughout the night. Naruto had even stopped constantly blushing and had turned back into the loudmouth that Sasuke knew and loved! I guess he just had to get out of his shell. Overall they were having a really good time… Until-

"SAAAASSSSUKEEE! OH SASSSUKEEEEEE! There you are! I heard that you were confused about your sexuality and that it's quite possible that you have brain damage and think that you like this idiot! I'm here to help you and love you forever!" said an obnoxiously shrill voice.

_Oh god, _Sasuke thought, _Please not them._

Alas, it was. Karin and the evil group of banshees behind her! The banshees consisted of a pinkette named Sakura and a total pig named Ino. Admittedly, Sakura wasn't that bad of a person. She just let her obsession with Sasuke blind her on more than one occasion. But the other two nearly drove him insane! How was he supposed to enjoy his dinner now?! Naruto was quite worried. Sasuke looked PISSED. What if he tried to kill the girls?! Then they would be kicked out of the restaurant! He looked down at his precious ramen sadly. He would never see it again if Sasuke tried to stab her with the chop sticks…

"NOOO, RAMEN!" Naruto sobbed out, earning him quite a few strange looks from the customers. Sasuke was used to it by now and kept his eyes solely on the trio that stood before him.

"What do you want?" He asked with gritted teeth.

"Oh Sasuke!" Ino said, trying very hard to sound cute, "We're just trying to help you see that you can't possibly like that stupid band geek!"

"Yeah," Karin cut in, "Besides, you're not gay. You're just confused."

"My god! How many times do I have to tell you people?! You've even seen the dirty pictures of Naruto I keep in my locker-"

"Wait what?"

"-and you still don't get it! I'm GAY. Get it through your ugly thick skulls that I-

"Did you say that you had dirty pictures of me?!

"-will never love you for as long as I live! Even if I wasn't gay-

"Teme! Answer me dammit!"

"-I would never go out with any of you because you're all stalkers and you're creepy as hell! Now why don't you get the fucking picture already and leave me and my date ALONE."

All three of the girls ran out sobbing and Sasuke looked quite proud of himself.

"I think I handled that rather well."

"Sasuke! What the hell was that about dirty pictures of me in your locker!?"

"…Bread roll?"

**Xx Sometimes I find myself doubting that Sasunaru will really happen… But then I realize what a silly thought that is when I look at all of the fan fiction about it. ^^ xX**

Meanwhile back with Iruka…

"So you're saying that YOU, my coworker, my boyfriend, are Sasuke's guardian."

"Yep."

"And I'm Naruto's guardian."

"Uh huh."

"And you are my boyfriend."

"Yes."

"And you are also a teacher with me at my school teaching our children every day."

"That is so."

"And Sasuke and Naruto are going out as well."

"Seems to be the case."

"Hm. What a weird coincidence, huh Kakashi?"

"I guess you could look at it that way. Wanna make out?"

**Xx Who here likes Single Ladies? *raises hand* Who here likes football? *lowers hand* …Who here likes football players dancing to Single Ladies? *squeals, runs around, and then dies* xX**

"You know if they come back I could always curse them," Naruto said.

"What?"

"Curse them. I can make voodoo dolls, and I can make people have big nosebleeds, and I can put little potions into things that they drink that can make them foam at the mouth-"

"You could curse them?"

"Uh huh. You know the last time that I tried the foaming at the mouth thing they all thought he had rabies and guess what, his parents were _freaks._ They had all seven rabies shots ready and were about to stick him with the first one-"

"Wait a second, _you _could _curse them?_"

"That's what I said. But I took pity on him and told them to actually SEE if he had rabies first. They found out at the hospital that he didn't. You see, I was getting revenge because he had thrown a slushie all over-"

"You can really curse them?"

"Yes Sasuke! I can fucking curse them already!"

Sasuke then took Naruto's hand and said, "Where have you been all my life?"

**Xx I don't know what to say! DX Oh wait here's something… Yo me gusta dulce bitches! XP xX**

It was finally time to go home. Sasuke proceeded to walk Naruto back to his house and omigee, they were holding hands the whole time! How sweet is that right? Ahem, anyway, they stopped right outside of Naruto's door.

"I had a really great time tonight teme," Naruto said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Me too dobe."

And with that, Sasuke leaned in to kiss him. Their lips touched, and for a brief moment everything melted around them. They soon pulled apart, both of them disappointed that their lips had to separate.

"Until tomorrow Naruto. I'll be coming over for a visit," Sasuke said as he turned to leave.

"Does this mean that you're my boyfriend?" Naruto asked.

"No. It means that _you_ are _my _boyfriend," he said with a smirk. Then he confidently strode away.

Oh that smirk… That smirk that strangely, Naruto didn't seem to mind anymore. He smiled to himself, pulled the bandage off his face, and looked at it.

_I didn't need this Kiba- HEY! Dammit, I told him no puppies! I probably should have checked it closer in the mirror, _he thought to himself as he walked inside.

He didn't even notice the two naked men under a sheet on the couch. What he _did_ notice was that his cell phone had a new message from Kiba. He was just about to chew him out for the puppies when the words of the text message seemed to reach his brain.

Hey Naruto, you'll never believe this! Remember when you threw me out the window? Well I landed on someone. It was Jimmy! And guess what? It turns out his last name is Frisbee after all! Crazy huh? ^^ Well anyway, after I landed on him we got to talking… and kissing… and um… Yeah. We're going on our first date next Friday! Isn't life wonderful? Hope your date with Sasuke went well. P.S. IN YOUR FACE MOTHAFUCKA!

To say that Naruto was stunned was an understatement, but to say that everyone was happy was a given.

OWARI

**Xx If life gives you lemons, make APPLE JUICE! Then don't share it with anyone else. It's YOUR magic apple juice making lemon. YOURS I TELL YOU! xX**

**Milly: Admittedly it was cute, but it had no crack whatsoever. **

**Kyo-kitty: Oh come on it had crack… Like that part where it was like- Yeah I got nothing.**

**Milly: *sigh* Well I hope that you guys liked it anyway. *wince* And sorry about the KakaIru stuff. You know I love it when that happens! It really is a funny coincidence though. XP Also, I have NO CLUE whether Jimmy's last name is actually Frisbee or not. Hehe.**

**Kyo-kitty: Review. Blah. Flames will die. **

**Milly: Thank you Kyo! ^^**


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